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February 15, 2015

Flicks: Apocalypse LA (2014) aka Yuppies Whine For Hours


Look-out, Zombie Apocalypse! Here come five whining yuppies with no relevant life experience!

Apocalypse LA (2014) aka Disaster L.A. aka Yuppies Whine For Hours is another questionable film that has found a home at WB and The Sy-Fy channel. Far from the enjoyably campy, trashy variety of zombie film (Return of The Living Dead) the film is crippled by a cast of bland, unlikable, whining yuppies. The cast seems to draw their inspiration for their roles as survivors by recalling the sheer terror of paper cuts or maybe the deep sorrow of getting their food mixed up with their bros at Taco Bell.

There is an unmistakable lack of character and an inability to commit that is all too apparent in these actors that is troubling to say the very least. It's like having a sheltered and marginally educated person attempt to portray Julius Ceasar - it's not gonna go well at all.

To cripple a decent premise even more (90% of LA are zombies and the city is on fire), writer and director Turner Clay chooses to have his actors whine like small petulant children when faced with overwhelming existential crises such as: picking keys up off the floor, running two blocks, running down stairs, facing stationary enemies, facing off against a handful of zombies, operating a radio and so on.

Much like Skyline (2010) it has really good digital effects but it's stars are terrible. Also, like Skyline, starring the wooden and charisma-less Eric Balfour, the movie is completely and utterly unwatchable. It's like five Eric Balfours got together in their cramped LA apartment and decided that running in circles, while whining, would be a super great idea for a film.

Did I mention the practical effects? Think wet paper towels draped on actor's faces. Think melted Klingon make-up from the 1960's re-purposed for today - 50 years later. The practical effects are so bad that you are almost glad that there are only four or five "zombies" in the entire film. Did I mention the current population of LA is 3.8 million? Kinda makes you wonder how fast the crew ran out of paper towels...

What really makes the movie so bad is that it is done in earnest. There are dozens of heart-to-heart scenes that last just a few seconds and are totally unbelievable. This led to Rotten Tomatoes giving the film a 13% - which is probably far too generous.

Do yourselves a favor and avoid this one at all costs.

References:
IMDb, Disaster L.A. (2014)
Horrornews, Disaster L.A. (2014)
Rotten Tomatoes, Please God Let This Be The Last Zombie Apocalypse Movie

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