Flicks: Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987)

In space, no one can believe that zero "G" jugs are in fact a jiggling and undeniable reality.

The second Urban Classics feature film of this month is Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987) a kooky take on intergalactic slavery seen through the paradigm of a 1980's sci-fi Star Wars rip-off. Fans of Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) or Roger Corman's Galaxy Of Terror (1981) will see these two classic movies inextricably merged into one super-mutant of a bad movie that was awful enough to end the career of it's director Mr. Ken Dixon.

Brinke Stevens (Sorority Girls In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) co-stars with Cindy Beal and Elizabeth Kaitan (Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2) in this gem of of Kidnapped Females Taken by Alien Overlords (to do their awful bidding) genre movie. The terrible looking "alien" costumes (think Predator on a shoe string budget and no Stan Winston) and wannabe old school Cylons (Battlestar Galactica) are enough to stop any fair-minded viewer in his or her tracks!

The twist is that these bleach-and-tanned southern Californian bimbos (complete with Aerosmith/ZZ Top/Crocodile Dundee references) aren't having any of this slave girl action. They quickly club their guards over the heads with flimsy props and in even flimsier bikinis in order to make good their space escape.


1987 marks the year the line "Let's blow this popsicle stand" was used appropriately in a motion picture.

Things get even more referential when the two slave girls crash land on a nearby planet where they are hunted by friendly fellow named Zed (Don Scribner) a la The Most Dangerous Game (1932) which would be great - if this plot point had not been completely exhausted for four decades by the time it come into usage for this film.

You manlings may enjoy this film yet. The models, especially Kaitan, are in excellent physical shape. They make for enjoyable watching as they bounce, with all of help that 1980's contemporary plastic surgery can afford, hither and thither while being "chased" by a series of poor suckers in terrible costumes.

References:
IMDb, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)
Wikipedia, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity
Bad Movies.org, Save The Slave Girls!

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Flicks: Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

If Revenge Of The Nerds was spliced together with Leprechaun then the results would very much like this movie.

Brought to the film-going public by the short-lived Urban Classics distribution company^[1], who released 6 films in two years in 1987-1989, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) is notable as one of only two films in which legendary 1980s scream queens Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), Brinke Stevens (Slumber Party Massacre), and Michelle Bauer (Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man, Night of the Living Babes, Lust for Frankenstein) appear together. The other being the much less watchable Dr. Alien (1989).

Sorority Babes stars Linea Quigley who unveiled a picture perfect Hollywood boob job on the set of Return Of The Living Dead as punk rock tramp "Trash" in 1985. This one singular performance guaranteed her a long future in slashers and horror films. She went on to star in Nightmare On Elm Street Part IV (1988), Pumpkinhead II (1994), Corpses Are Forever (2003) along with 121 other roles and counting. It's also important to note that both Stevens and Bauer both are very actively working on films and television today.

The film is like Revenge Of The Nerds with a raging hard-on. Aside from Miss Quigley's bodacious rack the film is full of R rated nudity and but no gore what so ever. Quigley, as "Spider" the tough as nails proprietor of said Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, unwittingly hosts a massacre for a series of boneheads and bimbos when a cursed bowling trophy awakens a terrible evil entity.

The evil entity in this case being talking shaved Gremlin affectionately dubbed "Uncle Impie" voiced by the writer and composer Michael Sonye (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Breakfast of Aliens). "Uncle Impie" goes about granting the motley crew's wishes and then watches them go disastrously wrong.

Sorority Babes' director David DeCoteau is another horror movie legend who still makes horror films today including My Stepbrother Is a Vampire! (2013) and A Talking Pony? (2013) both of which are listed as in post-production currently.

NOTES:
[1] = Urban Classics was a Charles Band, Full Moon Entertainment's founder, funded distribution house. Sorority Babes was released by Full Moon on DVD in 1999.

References:
IMDb, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
IMDb, David DeCoteau
Wikipedia, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

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